30+ hilarious ways the Internet trolled Mark Zuckerberg testifying before congress

Recently, Facebook has been under scrutiny after word got out that the Trump-affiliated political consulting organization Cambridge Analytica stole data from 87 million of its users. The social media giant admitting it scans all of our conversations in the Messenger app didn’t help its publicity, either. In wake of these events — relevant to all of the company’s 2.2 billion monthly active users — Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg has taken a trip to Capitol Hill.

While he was testifying before the United States Congress about user privacy, the internet took full advantage of the live public hearing that took about five hours. Countless memes have surfaced, poking fun at ‘Mr. Zuckerbot’ and his company, each one funnier than the next. So, while the 33-year-old billionaire is getting ready for his second grilling on Wednesday from for The House of  Representatives, scroll down and check out some of the hilarious reactions that the first one has already produced!

Source

20+ weirdest roommates that are impossible not to laugh at… or live with

Living with roommates has become the norm for many people, as house prices rise and living alone just doesn’t make financial sense anymore. Depending on your personality it can either be a joy of shared fun, food and life experiences; or a nightmare of unwashed dishes, bad smells and empty toilet paper rolls.

Either way, the potential for great stories is ridiculously high. Jimmy Fallon has identified this and asked his viewers to send in their weirdest roommate stories, with predictably hilarious results.

From snail movers to underwear recyclers, this list compiled by Rasplove will make you laugh, cry and cringe. Scroll down below to check them out for yourself, and feel free to share your own roomie stories in the comments!

Source

Here’s a funny joke about a taxi driver and pastor that went to heaven

A pastor and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven.
St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them.
‘Come with me’, said St. Peter to the taxi driver.
The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St. Peter to a mansion.
It had anything you could imagine from a bowling alley to an Olympic size pool.
‘Wow, thank you’, said the taxi driver.
Next, St. Peter led the pastor to a rugged old shack with a bunk bed and a little old television set.
‘Wait, I think you are a little mixed up,’ said the pastor.
‘Shouldn’t I be the one who gets the mansion? After all I was a pastor, went to church every day, and preached God’s word.’
‘Yes, that’s true. But during your sermons people slept. When the taxi driver drove, everyone prayed.’
Chuckled? Share this and subscribe for more funny stories using the buttons below

Source

20+ hilarious times shops made their customers laugh out loud

Seems like a lot of businesses take themselves way too seriously these days. Business analysts are hired to maximize profits, reduce overheads and increase professionalism and efficiency in staff, but amongst all this sometimes a little humanity and personal touch is lost.

Not for these businesses though! Compiled into a list by Rasplove, we have come up with some of the best examples of business owners having a little bit of fun and being remembered not for robotic efficiency of customer service, but for having an awesome sense of humor. Scroll down below to check out the hilarious list yourself, and don’t forget to vote for your favorites!

#1 This Sign I Found At An Ice Cream Shop In Amman, Jordan


#2 My Grocery Store Cheese Counter Has The Right Idea

 

#3 My Local Independent Coffee Shop Uses A Starbucks Mug For Its Toilet Brush Holder


#4 The Children’s Menu At A Local Sandwich Shop

#5 For My Last Day Of Work At The Pet Store, I Made Myself Employee Of The Month

#6 This Cone Display At My Local Ice Cream Shop

#7 Seen In A Toy Store In Austin, Tx

#8 False Advertising

#9 This Pizza Shop Gets It

#10 This Tattoo Shops Signs Are Always On Point

#11 A Local Computer Repair Shop Thinks They’re Funny. They’re Right

#12 Safety First

#13 As Somebody Who Works In Retail, This Sign Should Be Posted In Every Store Ever

#14 Someone At The Arts & Crafts Store Has A Warped Sense Of Humour

#15 Aussie Coffee Shop Tells It Like It Is

#16 At The Coffee Shop When You Get Hit By This Unexpected Quote Of The Day

#17 Local Hardware Store With A Sense Of Humour

#18 They Mounted A Vegan To The Wall At My Local Butcher Shop

#19 I Was Given The Ability To Control What Gets Printed On The Receipts At The Doughnut Shop Where I Work. This Is The First Thing I Did

#20 Was Sitting At My Local Coffee Shop And Randomly Decided To Flip Over The Plastic Triangle Menu They Have On All The Tables

Source

11 funny reasons why the new yorker should hire this 9-year-old girl to write all their cartoon captions

Bess Kalb is an Emmy-nominated writer for Jimmy Kimmel Live, so she knows good creative writing when she sees it. And it looks like the knack for putting words together runs in her family. Recently, Bess tweeted a series of captions her cousin’s 9-year-old daughter wrote for The New Yorker cartoons, and they’re hilarious.

“Everything is terrible but my cousin’s 9-year old daughter Alice has been quietly and masterfully slaying the New Yorker’s caption contest and it’s pure delight,” Kalb wrote.

Each week the magazine provides a cartoon in need of a caption. The readers submit their versions, and members of the editorial staff choose three finalists. The finalists appear on the New Yorker’s website and people choose the winner who will have his or her caption and name printed in the magazine. But there’s a problem. According to the official rules, only people 13 and over can enter or vote, meaning Alice has to wait 4 more years to participate.

However, that doesn’t stop the comedy prodigy from perfecting her skills. “There are so many,” Kalb added. “She grabs every issue before her mom can get a hold of it, and every single one of them is perfect.”

After her captions went viral, Kalb showed the little girl the enormous support they received. “Teachers don’t always encourage creative writing, so today has been a huge shot of confidence for her. Let young girls know when they’re funny and smart. Many people don’t.”

Bess Kalb is an Emmy-nominated writer but she has competition in the family

People instantly fell in love with Alice’s captions

Bess was overwhelmed by the positive response

Source

Guy documented his first week of work at target and the details are too hilarious

Stories of the initial days at work are always worth remembering.
There is a huge range of possible things that one can experience at work. It can range from their job being annoying to their job being full of surprises and fun. And you might have already heard all these things before. However, the kind of story that we have for you today is unlike any story that you have heard of before.

A Tumblr user shared his experience of what the first week working at target was like, and it’s insanely hilarious and weird both at the same time.

Don’t believe it? Then scroll down and have a look.

What are your thoughts on this story? Did you like it?

Source

20 ridiculously devilish food pranks we’re dying to use on our friends

The thing about pranks is that everyone expects you to do them on April Fools Day but no one expects you to do them on the day before or the day after. Keep that in mind while reading this list of easy food pranks anyone can pull off…on any day of the year.


The fact that Easter Sunday falls on April Fools Day this year means that it will be ripe for pranks just like this one, which takes a lot of effort but isn’t super mean.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BSWC8wpD6Uw/?utm_source=ig_embed

This is actually a really nice prank. It looks like eggs and toast, but in fact, the whole dish is made out of cookies! That’s a win-win.


This prank is slightly meaner, but also way more hilarious. Put Mentos in ice cubes and serve them to your soda-loving friends. Soda explosions will ensue.

This prank is only acceptable because it doesn’t involve any actual mayonnaise. If it were the other way around and they put mayo in the pudding cups, it would be unspeakably cruel.


Now this is really mean! There’s nothing quite as terrible as biting into a raisin when you were led to believe it was a chocolate chip.

The next one is terrible…


If I were in the office and someone did this, I wouldn’t even try one of the donuts. Apparently, there wasn’t actually any sriracha in them, so only the brave were rewarded.

This is truly the work of the devil. Everyone knows M&M’s are far superior to both Skittles and Reese’s Pieces, and I don’t want to have to work to find them.

https://www.instagram.com/p/0d4lxBD2Q9/?utm_source=ig_embed

Hilarious.

It’s like the King Cake for Mardi Gras, only approximately 10 million times grosser.

Have you been duped by the promise of sweets before?

Yeah, it’s not fun.

As someone who always uses a knife to cut her caramel apples, I would not fall for this trick. I suggest you do the same.

The next one is…a lot…

Tell your friends you made a pie and then serve them this, which looks like raspberry cream and chocolate mousse but is actually meat and mashed potatoes that have been dyed pink. Hey, you didn’t say it was a sweet pie!

#foodprank

A post shared by ashley munns (@ashley.munns) on

The old hot sauce in the soda cup trick is really only for those who don’t care about losing their friend forever. It’s a really mean one.

#miraclewhip #foodprank

A post shared by ashley munns (@ashley.munns) on

I take it back; this one is way worse than hot sauce in a soda cup.

That is instant vomit material right there.

#foodprank

A post shared by ashley munns (@ashley.munns) on

What would this even taste like?

Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s not good.

This one’s fairly harmless. All you have to do is serve your friend a “drink” that’s actually Jello and cannot get drunk! They’ll figure it out soon enough and have a good laugh.

We all ate Play-Doh as a kid, so this isn’t too mean.

What if you learn you really have a taste for it?

https://www.instagram.com/p/xgh8SKgeuc/?utm_source=ig_embed

This really does look like a sunny-side-up egg and French fries.

This is like a prank for your own mouth and I don’t know how to feel about it.

https://www.instagram.com/p/0ZWj3WD2bX/?utm_source=ig_embed

This is actually more like a prank on yourself since you’ll probably get called into the principal and have to explain who exactly you were trying to trick here.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BMKt4bvA8oY/?utm_source=ig_embed

These “cake pops” are really chocolate-covered Brussels sprouts, and honestly, this just reads to me like a giant waste of perfectly good chocolate.

My parents will never prank me again #toothpasteoreos #nooneissafe

A post shared by Celeste Nelson (@celery711) on

Toothpaste Oreos used to be the go-to food prank until they released mint Oreos. Those rendered this fairly obsolete.

Source

Funny pic dump (3.16.18)

Source

10+ wholesome memes that will make you feel so good

The deep, dark web is notorious for it’s foul and offensive humor and if you spend too much time thinking about it then you’ll literally end up depressed. Our social media accounts are usually overflowing with jokes in poor taste and not that we don’t all enjoy a little dark comedy here and there sometimes you just need to have a chuckle that doesn’t damn your soul along the way.

That’s where these wholesome memes come in. There’s no denying their ability to humor you but you won’t feel dirty for that giggle, you’ll feel all the «good feels.»

We could all use a lot more of those «good feels» in our lives, couldn’t we?

1. No more turning your head in confusion, doggo.
You’ve got it all figured out.


2. There’s nothing quite like the bond between man and doggo.
If this isn’t the sweetest giggle you’ll have all day…


3. Her name is Lola!
She loves you.


4. «Human, I’ll take care of you.»
«Now who is the good boy?»

5. Professional Pup
He’s looking so fantastic.


6. Save the kitten?
Keep her snuggly and warm!

7. Good boy, Eddie.
Eddie is doing the good work. Good doggo.


8. How fitting!
More baby animals should have cute names like this little fella.

9. When mom puts in effort, mom really puts in effort.
It’s a perfect autumn smiley-face.


10. How to be a good person 101:
Let the little, old lady read her books.


11. Proud pupper parent!
All of us who own dogs know this feel-good feel.


12. They must be newlyweds
It’s the sweetest!

Source

Doctor tells an old man to take a sperm count for his physical. He was shocked by his response

his joke was sent to us by a Jeff S. from Billings, Montana.

An 85-year-old man was told by his Doctor to have a sperm count as part of his physical exam.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring back a sample tomorrow.”

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, ‘Well, doc, it’s like this — first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.

Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.

We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin’ it between her knees, but still nothing.’

The doctor was shocked and said, “You asked your neighbor?”

The old man replied, ‘Yep, none of us could get the jar open.

Rasplove this joke using the buttons below.

Source